Sadist_In_Luv's Xanga

Monday, October 10, 2005

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 02:41:55 GMT

Dear Zoe,

Never have I experienced such boredom. Even over the summer I had more to do than this! Okay, so it's fall break. And everyone went home, except of course for me. These are the moments when I regret going to school so frick'n far away from home. Also that I don't have a car yet. UGH! What have I done to deserve this? Next summer better kick mighty damn ass to make up for the last. I better make BIG bucks, and my job better be top fuck'n notch!

Do you know what happened to me the other day? Well of course you don't, but you're going to. I worked so fucking hard on this pot I was making for my culture studio class, and it BROKE! It fucking BROKE! I almost cried. I was going to give that thing to my mom for Christmas. Although it didn't look that great...it was still a big loss. This thing was massive. And now it lives in bits and pieces in a grocery bag sitting on my bedroom floor. So, today I had to go to the ceramics room to make something new. I was going to email my professor and ask him what I should do, but then I thought, "yo, he's never gonna believe that my pot broke." So I just started a new one today that looks MUCH better, and I'll tell him about my broken pot on Thursday. That way at least I have something in my hands to replace the broken pot!

Mom went to South Carolina for the past week. David recommended her for a job at Marriot. I guess she pretty much has it in the bag, but she is resistant to go because her heart is in Syracuse. But I've talked to her about this several times. She can always take the job in SC, and in a few years or so move back to Syracuse. I mean the ideal situation is for her to get a job there, but you don't always get what you want, do you? I certainly know that from experience!

Alright, I should probably get started on some homework now. I've worked a little bit today, but I really need to get goin' cuz a lot is due next week! I have a test on Wednesday and 4 one page essays due Thursday. Already have one of those done, but still, that's three pages of unfinished work! Okay, okay...I'm going!

Chao.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 23:35:41 GMT

Dear Zoe,

I saw this on someone's site. I don't do these too often, but this one had good questions that don't get boring. So here ya go!

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? nope, close though

2. Do you close your eyes on rollercoasters? when i go on them, yes

3.When's the last time you've been sleigh riding? never been on a sleigh...and i don't even remember the last time i went sledriding. I think it might have been two years ago during christmas break.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? depends. Mike usually sleeps with me, and that's nice, but it's nice to have my bed to myself too.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? yes

6. Do you consider yourself creative? if i wanna be

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? uh.......

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? that's a tough one. Jennifer has the personality, Angelina has the body! Can I make them one person?

9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics? not enough to impress anyone.

10. Do you know how to play poker? yeah but i'm not too good at it.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? maybe. one time my freshman year i didn't sleep at night cuz of anxiety. i wasn't really counting how long i was awake.

12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house? Fuck yeah.

13. Ever cheated on test? hehehehehhe...yeah...*sheepish grin*

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around... do you go through red lights? sometimes, if i'm feeling rebellious

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? uh...I don't think so.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? baseball? who the hell likes baseball? yuck

17. Have you ever ice skated? yeppers!

18. How often do you remember your dreams? maybe once a week if that. most of them are too wierd to remember

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying? i think it was the last time Paige and Aria were here.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? probably not

22. Do you believe in love at first sight? no. you have to get to know someone to love them.

23. Do you know who Ba-Ba-Booey is? uh....no Am I supposed to?

24. Do you always wear your seatbelt? no. those things are annoying. if i'm sitting in the front the airbag will save me. if i'm in the back the front seat will catch me. if i'm riding with a reckless driver then i take those last few sentences back and crack open the seat belt.

25. What talent do you wish you had? i always wished i could dance, and be more athletic.

26. Do you like sushi? ewwww raw food is for bears!

27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? avoided...i don't think so. put myself in one...once too many

28. What do you wear to bed? pajamas, duh

29. Have you ever been caught stealing? unfortunatly yes

30. Does size matter? depends on what you're talking about. anything of average size suits my fancy ;)

31. Do you truly hate anyone? yes. stupid fuckers.

32. Rock and Roll or Rap? ROCK AND ROLL!

33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? Brad Fuck'n Pitt baby

34. Do you have a relative in prison? not that i know of!

35. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror like your favorite singer? yes...hehe

36. Do you know how to play chess? nope

37. What food do you find disgusting? mushrooms and tomatoes

38. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"? don't think so

39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? if i'm truely making fun of someone, they aren't my friend. so i guess not!

40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? probably. not any specific time i remember though

41. Have you ever been punched in the face? don't think so!

42. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much? oh god...i think that'd have to be homecoming last year.

44. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it can get? i don't have the attention span for that

45. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything? no, i keep a good balance of my infatuatations ;)

46. Have you ever met someone famous that you really wanted to meet? nope :(

47. Have you ever been stood up? yep. stupid boys!

48. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs? the day before i left to go back to ship. don't piss me off. it's not good.

49. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, just to fit in? of course. everyone does it. heheheh

50. Do you consider yourself "the biggest fan" of something? Alanis Morisette! hehe

Hope ya liked it...It sure kept me occupied for a good half hour or so. ;)

Chao.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 04:12:23 GMT

Dear Zoe,

Hello! What's up? Not much here. This week went by really fast. Which is good, because last week went by really f'n slow. Can you believe we've gone through FIVE weeks so far? I mean, damn...five weeks! It still seems like it has only been around three or so.

I have this problem It seems like lately I have been emotionless. No matter what happens to me, I can't feel a thing. I mean, I get happy about a good grade on a test, or I'm pissed because I have to get up for morning class, but inside I'm just this empty....thing. I don't know what it is. Nothing too dramatic has happened to me. I feel different too. Like I'm distanced from everything. I feel a thousand miles away from everyone when they are less than a foot away from me. It's wierd. I don't know what the fuck is going on!

Do you know what really pisses me off? The fact that I have to go to a god damn counsellour just for seeing Dr.Shapiro! Apparently it's a new policy at the councling center this year. Ugh! I don't need to see a damn counselour! I just need someone to prescribe me my damn anti-depressants so I can function correctly in society. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently so! So now I have to go and talk to this woman every week about stuff that doesn't even matter. It's f'n pointless! Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!

Alright I'm gonna go. I need a god damn ciggarette.

Chao.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 18:34:52 GMT

I deeply apologize for all of the grammatical errors in my last entry. I read it and was like...woah...how did I not miss that? Anyways, I was partially drunk when I wrote it so that's probably why. Any future sober entry's shall be grammer error free!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 00:44:55 GMT

Dear Zoe,

Hi! Today is Saturday. I was planning on doing some homework, but guess what! That never happened. Instead I watched the last half of Happy Gilmore and then went to Chambersburg with Kyle. We went to Subway for lunch(YUM) and then the pet store. The puppies there are soooo cute! We got to hold an American Bulldog Heeler mix, cockapoo, and two cute little pugs! Kyle thinks they look like aliens(pugs), but I think they are irrestibly cute. The bulldogs were so adorable! I want one sooooo bad. But pets aren't allowed in college park and I have no fuck'n money for a dog. I have no money for anything...

OMG I just drank the most wonderful alcoholic beverage on the planet. Dr.Pepper and Bacardi Superior! Yeah buddy you can't even taste the rum in the drink, it's soooo good! I chugged it down and now on to the second bottle! I'm gonna be all liquored up before Paige and Aria even get here. hehehe We got a 24 pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade. Mmmm! I can't wait! It's like last weekend all over again. Fuck yeah. Weekends here are like alcoholics anonymous only we're not anonymous and instead of talking about our addictions we drink them away! hahahahaha

Okay. I've held this in waaaay too long. I need to bitch. You know what really pisses me off? Preppy ass students who drive really expensive cars that their mommies and daddies bought for them. Seriously, the other day Mike and I were in the storage parking lot and we saw FOUR Mustangs! It should be a rule that until you're at least a college graduate, or at that age, you have to drive a shitty ass car. Mike has a VW Golf, Kyle has a Saturn, I might be having a LeSabre...we are normal! Are parents are rich as fuck and hand everything over to us. Kids like that should die. BURN IN HELL! Ugh. Just one day I'd like to see a Mustang in the college park parking lot with a boot on its wheel. Fuck yeah. That'd fuck'n rock. Prissy ass mother fucker can't drive his precious baby to the next block! Oh no! What is he going to do?!?!?! haha I'm such a bitch. But seriously everyone, aren't I right? Am I not fuck'n RIGHT?!

I don't usually talk about current events on here, but something very tradgic is going on in America, and I feel like I should give it at least a paragraph of my time. I have mixed feelings about the hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Before Rita came along I felt really bad for all the people who lost their homes and belongings in New Orleans and was totally bummed that such a great city was flooded! But now I feel it quite odd, and almost amusing, that Rita is heading straight for the city that all the refugees from New Orleans went. I mean, is this a sign from God or something? Personally, I think we're witnessing first hand the end of the world. I grew up in a very religous household, and believe it or not, I was once a die hard Jesus freak. Look at me now... hehe Anyways, I did some studying of the last chapter of the bible, most of you know it by the book of Revelation. It's a creepy ass book, and quite confusing if you don't have someone explain it to you as you read, but from what I remember of it, at the end of the world a war is supposed to break out and then seven world catastrophes are supposed to occur. And then Jesus will come down and take all the believers up to heaven and the rest of us will live on earth in perish. So...think about it! Aren't we in war right now? And haven't a lot of bad things happened lately? More than usual? Hmm...let's see...9/11, the tsunami, hurricane Katrina and Rita, the London attacks...what else do we need? Okay so maybe my philosophy is a little far fetched but think about it people. It's fucking 2005. Anything can happen.

I am starting to create a photobucket account. Ya'll should check it out. I don't have the url for it yet, but when I do figure that shit out(I'm dumb as fuck, yes I know) I'll post it up here. I'll actually probably put is as my website. I'm not done with it, still A LOT more pics to upload and sort through, but you can look at what's there now! I'm having a lot of fun doing and I hope all you losers like it. I love looking at pictures, so I figured I'd let other people enjoy the same thing with my own. hehehe

Okay. I have to pee and I have company on their way. Time to get druuuuunik! Woo Hoo! heheheh

Chao.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 15:49:29 GMT

Dear Zoe,

Hello! I haven't updated this thing in a while. You know me, lazy as hell, and plus going to classes and shit now it makes things even harder for slackers like me. I've been allright, nothing too special has happened. Last weekend Paige and Aria came up and we all got drunk. It was super fun. We got a "party pack" of twisted smirnoff. It was yummy. Except for the new watermelon stuff. That shit is nasty as hell! I got nice and drunk though. hehehe They are coming up again this weekend. WEEEE!

I have to tell you about my horrifying poop story. It was on Wednesday. I was work, after I took my group skills test. I had eaten a wrap at Kriner for lunch about an hour before that. When I was taking my test it hit me like a fucking bullet. I had to help Paula with some stuff after that, although I was still in great pain. I knew what it was...I was desperate to take care of it. Finally, I was able to go to the bathroom. I had to seriously strain myself to not let it gush out of me. It was like I was peeing out of my asshole! It was absolutely horrible. Every gush made a HUGE sound that must have echoed all throughout the damn building. I was soooooo fucking embarassed. But when it was all said and done I felt so much better! Oh...and holy fuck it stunk so bad! Not only did I have to worry about someone hearing my massive explosions, I also had to worry about someone smelling it all!

I have now missed two of my art classes, and one socialology class. Yeah...I have a problem for morning classes. Ah well. I can miss three soc classes and I'm only a day behind in art. I'll live. hehehe Not only have I missed a numerous amounts of classes for the girl I have to take notes for. I don't really feel bad though cuz both of the classes I take notes for her the professors give her their powerpoint presentations. I even asked her if she still needs me to take notes, and she said yes! I was like...UGH.

Alright, I need to go. I've been writing this while in a class. hehe Don't worry, it wasn't one of my own classes, it was for Brenda. Anywho's...

Chao.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 03:03:12 GMT

Dear Chloe,

For some reason xanga is giving me all these options when I write a new blog. Strange...it's like I have premium. I wish it would always be like this! That would be kewl if they were upgrading the regular xanga. Anywho's....

Two weeks of school under my belt! I think this semester is gonna go really well. Although I didn't start it off too right. I got sick from Kyle, still am...and I skipped two of my classes today. But I was seriously in pain. It wasn't good. I don't plan on making skipping class a regular routine. I don't want to end up working at McDonalds for the rest of my life. *shutters* I really like most of my classes. The only one I can think of that I don't particulary enjoy going to is Assessing Organizations and Communities. I'm more of a micro person...that means the individual for all of you non social work majors. Which would be all or most of you. Anywho's...so yeah...I don't see myself working with organizations or communities. I'd rather work in an agency where I have clients and work with them individualy. But I need the class to graduate. So I go. And that is that.

I am seriously getting sick and fucking tired of this bug issue in my apartment. First it was thousand leggers in my bathtub and cealing, and the occosional ant or spider. No biggie. Annoying, but not enough to complain about. But last night I found a huge ass beatle crawling on my floor next to my bed. I tryed to kill it but it ran underneith my bed so I slammed the mattress on it and hopefully it died. For all of you who are confused right now, I don't have a frame for my bed, I have a double mattress that lays on two single box springs. For the rest of you...just keep reading. Maybe you'll get it later on today and have an "a ha!" moment. So seriously, this is a big fucking issue. I think tomorrow before I go to class and then work I'm gonna raid my room to fucking death. It says you have to close your window and door and then spray it all around, and leave the room for 15 minutes, and then ventilate it thourougly before re-entering. So I'm think'n I'll just do it half an hour or so before I leave and that should work. It better. If I see any form of non-human living thing in this fucking apartment again I'm calling the Orkin Man!

I miss Hannah. I miss her cute little laugh, her cute little red pig tails, her cute little wimper when she pouts, the way she holds up her arms to hold her, her sweet little kisses, her adorable tushie, her big round brown eyes, the way she smells after a bath....okay I'm gonna start crying. If I get my gramma's car before fall break I am sooooo gonna up there and visit! I wonder if she'll remember me. It'll be interesting to see what she does when she sees me again. When I left she was just starting to get really attached to me. Figures, I was there all fucking summer and right when I leave she decides to show her love for me. Babies...

Mike and I's anniversery is in two days. HOORAY!!! This isn't just any ordinary anniversery either. It's our 6 month anniversery. I'm so proud of myself. I've never made it this far in a relationship before. It means a lot to me that this one has lasted this long. He means the world to me. If I ever lost him I don't know what I would do. Probably have a mental break down. We still don't know what we're going to do. He wants it to be "special". I told him it will be, but he doesn't seem to be convinced. He told me he wants to take a walk at night and have it be all romantic and shit. That sounded good to me. But I don't know where we're gonna go to have it be romantic...campus isn't the most romantic place on earth. Except the fountain in front of Old Main...I think that is really pretty. That would be a good place to walk to.

Well, a heaping pile of laundry is waiting for me. Yes, it's been waiting for a very long time. If I don't tend to it tonight I think it will start haunting me in my sleep. So...I must go for now. Hope all of you are having fun!

Chao.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 16:14:21 GMT

"Back at Home"

Dear Zoe,

Finally, I'm back at Ship, or what I like to call home. I moved in about a week ago. Rained most of the way, so my matresses and dresser got wet. They're all alright though. Nothing too damaged. Mom came down with the rest of my stuff on Saturday. Had to wait a few days to get my computer and stuff. It was bad. But I can't connect to the internet so I have to resort to the computer labs on campus. Ugh. Can't wait to get it fixed! Whitney moves in today. She's taking me back to Gettysburg cuz she forgot some things. I can't wait! We're gonna drink at my place and then find a good party. Sucks I have to be to work at 9:00am tomorrow morning.

I'm excited for school to start. Paula is having me take notes for a deaf student. So now I have two more classes on Monday and Wednesday and one of Friday. I really wanted Friday to be my do-nothing-day, but the hour counts as work time, and Paula is depending on me...so I guess I'll sacrifice. It's only one hour anyways. Can't be that bad.

Aunt Wenda emailed me and said something about giving me my grandma Hampton's old car. Right now my cousin Larry has it, and apparently all that needs to be done to the car is the ignition needs fixed or whatever. She said it was just a matter of getting him to do it. Totally know where he's coming from! haha But if I could seriously get that car I'd be so totally happy. Of course it's an old grandma's car, but it's a car, and that's all I really care about right now!

Well, I think I'm gonna get going. Whitney better call me soon.

Chao.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 22:56:56 GMT

Dear Zoe,

Today was a very awesome day. First, mom and I went to the mall to get me a new phone, and the first place we went to was very rude. Mom was kinda cranky. The second place we went to was much more helpful. Although I didn't get a phone, they told us what I had to do in order to get one. Since the plan is in my dad's name, he has to be there to sign the papers and everything when I get the upgrade(a new phone). Either that or have him give them permsision to put my name on the plan as well and then I can get one. Apprently he didn't want to do that cuz I called him and he said just wait until Monday when he comes up here and we'll do it then. I can't wait!

Second kewl thing that happened today is that while I was packing I found two old checks in one of my purses! Totally awesome, right?! They added up to be about $130. I spent $75 of it to buy a new desk for school. Stacey was going to let me use her old card table, and that would've been fine, but I really wanted that desk. It's super kewl. It has a cd rack, a place for my pc and monitor, a rack to put my books and stuff on, and lots of space to put my printer and other knick knack stuff. I can't wait to put it together!

I guess that's all I have to say. Other than I am REALLY excited to go back to school. Mom thinks everything will fit on grandpa's truck. Dad and I are quite skeptical. She just doesn't want to drive all the way down to SHIP. I don't blame her. Ah well. She's probably going to have to whether she likes it or not. I wish we had the money to rent a moving van, but the price is outrageous. Mom told me that when she moved from Warren to up here it cost her $400. None of us have that money. Anyways...I'm sure it'll workout somehow!

I think I'm gonna go read. I'm at the very end of the 5th Harry Potter book. It's sooooo good! Lastnight I couldn't put it down but I started to get really tired so I stopped in the middle of the chapter. I want to finish it before I leave for school. I can't wait to start reading the 6th one! hehe

Chao people.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 00:22:02 GMT

"One More Week Until Back to SHIP" and

"Five Month Anniversery with Mike"

Dear Zoe,

Today is a very special day. Not only do I return to school in exactly a week, but it's also my five month anniversery with Mike. I'm so happy to be with him, and I'm even happier that it has lasted this long. We were lucky enough to be able to spend this month's anniversery with each other. Next month is going to be even better. I CAN'T WAIT! I just know it's going to be one of the most specialest(is that a word?) days of my life. It will be the longest relationship I've ever had as well. I'm happy about that too. It's about time I have a long term relationship. I have friends who dated guys in high school for 5-6 months and I'm just now getting started. Ah well. You live, you learn, and then you get LUVS. I really need to stop hanging around Hannah so much. Anyway, so as I was saying, we were lucky enough to spend today together. Well, at least some of it. He spent the last two days here with me. He was only supposed to spend one day with me but he didn't want to leave so bad that yesturday he called off work and spent an extra day with me. It meant a lot to me cuz I know how much work means to him and how much he could use the money. We had a good time. We went to the mall and decided to have some fun in K B Toys. OMG is that store the funnest place EVER! Mike bought two different police play sets. It was hella kewl. We went home and played with it all. He gave me a strip search and then I handcuffed him and well...you can fill in the blank. hehehhe We even took pictures of me with police sunglasses, a badge, handcuffs, and a whip. It was hott. And of course, I had to have no pants on. That boy is seriously obsessed with my ass. But it's alright. At least I know he likes the way I look!

I can't believe there's only one more week until I go back to school. I seriously can't wait. I just want to see all my friends again and be able to see Mike whenever I want. And have money! Even though work study is not a lot, it's something. More than I made this summer(didly squat). Other than the money I've made selling Avon. Which I haven't even made any yet. The campaign going on now is over in like two weeks. I guess I'll get my money then. I hope that I can sell stuff at school. I'm affraid that no one is going to buy stuff cuz everyone at college is poor. Which is understandable. Maybe the people at work will buy stuff though. Eh, if I don't make enough I'll just give it up. It would be nice to have some extra money floating around though. I still don't know how much money I'll get back in the fall from loans. Last year it was $950. That's 3 months rent money...hell yeah! With $20 extra. August 15tth is coming up soon. My dad better have the money, cuz I sure don't. I feel bad that I have to dedpend on my parents for all this money. But it's not like I'm a lazy bum who hasn't been looking for a job all summer long. I've applied at probably 50 or more places and have had at least 10 interviews at different places. It's pathetic. There's no way I'm coming back here next summer. I've enjoyed it, it's been nice, but if I can't find a job here, there's no way I can do it again. I also need to save up for a car. How am I supposed to save for a car if I need to use my refund money for rent and all my other money goes towards groceries and shit? Ugh. Life sucks then ya die. Anyways...

I think that's all I have to say. My stomach kinda hurts so I think I might lay down or read for a while.

Chao.